Updated: Sep 24
"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." - Thomas Jefferson to William Hamilton, April 22, 1800
As if she was a can of club soda shaken too much, she bubbled and sizzled onto the earth. Over three decades of friendship spilled to the ground. I remained speechless for months. It is true that I didn’t share her views, and I admit to being surprised by her political leanings and inexplicable devotion. Still...her politics was not a deal-breaker for me. I’ve loved her since before we had boobs, and could not imagine not sharing laughter when we were 102.
I ignored all the signs. The lack of communication, caring, and neglect. I kept thinking it must be something else until my suspicions were confirmed. Seeing someone who I only saw through a lens of unconditional love reveal their true nature, is...unsettling. What I really want to know is, was our friendship a one-sided lie? For the record, I don’t think we have ever argued. We’ve laughed until we cried, we've been secret keepers and she was my inspiration. Now we are divorced. Our union broke on the basis of political differences. I’m gobsmacked and mystified. What I thought was a lifetime friendship, it turns out was only for a season.
I am sad and resigned. To her I say, good luck in all that you do moving forward. May love, peace, and light find you and follow you all your days.
To my BIG little Writes readers, I implore you to learn to respectfully disagree with your friends, family, and neighbors. Try to find common ground, and see others through a lens of love whenever possible. I am not naive. I acknowledge that your friendship may still not survive, but keep it classy and civil. Lastly, perhaps it’s prudent to keep politics out of friendship. All these years I assumed we shared similar views, but in retrospect, she was always silent. What were we to each other if she felt as if she couldn’t tell her truth? I’ve never judged her but I see now that I was judged and convicted. These are some strange times we are living in but I refuse to become jaded. I remain optimistic and hopeful in spite of what the eyes of my heart see.
Have you ever broken up with a friend? I would love to hear about your experience.